The ways in which depression affects men is typically different from how it affects women. Some of the ways that depression affects men differently are that men tend to blame others for their troubles, have feelings of anger or irritability, and become defensive, suspicious, and guarded.
Recently, The Dr. Harry Fisch Show discussed how men are affected by depression and what some of the leading causes of male depression are. His guest was Joseph LaFleur, who offered some great insight on the topic. Pointedly he discusses how relationships are the number one cause of depression in men, and feelings of loneliness within those relationships are a major factor affecting men’s mental health.
Most Common Cause of Male Depression
Joseph LaFleur’s point of men suffering from depression as a result of feelings of loneliness coming from within their relationships is very powerful. He explains how most men find it hard to talk about their feelings with their partners. This creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship due to lack of communication, and specific physical, mental, and emotional needs are not being satisfied by their partners.
It is common that men find it difficult to tell their partners when they are depressed or have had their feelings hurt, because of traditional/archaic gender roles or stereotypes. In some cases, these relationship issues lead to divorce, which is yet another cause of male depression.
Another reason men feel depressed is low self-esteem, or that men start feeling like their partners no longer find them attractive. Being overweight is a major cause of self-esteem issues, lack of energy, lack of sex drive, and ultimately feeling depressed. Any one of these factors can lead to a lack of sex, and can be either the cause or the effect of male depression, or feelings of loneliness within their relationships. Regular sex is such an important part of healthy relationships that not having it regularly can cause a number of other mental and emotional problems for men.
If men aren’t feeling excited or aroused at home, sometimes they start looking for sexual excitement somewhere else. Feelings of loneliness also can contribute to infidelity as an attempt to fill the void in the relationship. Joseph LaFleur also suggests that some men stay in long-term relationships out of fear of being lonely, even if there is no sexual activity, but this isn’t healthy either.
There can be many reasons why couples aren’t having regular sexual encounters, such as sexual dysfunction by either partner, feelings of isolation due to the birth of a child, excess work, etc. Conversation, communication, or therapy, are just a few options to help relationship issues get resolved.
Positive Ways to Deal with Depression
Joseph LaFleur encourages men to talk about it. It is important to find someone you feel comfortable talking to in order to get the feelings out. Men typically hate talking about depression and anxiety. The idea of talking about feelings is terrifying and often times feel emasculated when talking about their feelings with their male friends. The preconception that it’s not ‘manly’ to talk about your feelings still holds very true in the male psyche today.
Free of feelings prevent men from leading healthy lives by repressing their emotions and increasing anxiety. Both Dr. Fisch and Joseph LaFleur can’t stress the importance of talking about your feelings enough. Too often, men tend to isolate/deny they have a problem at all. Men often tell their friends they’re “fine.” Opening up to friends can work for both parties because your friends may need to talk too. Joining social groups with your buddies promotes interaction and communication amongst men with similar interests.
Men need to support each other in promoting mental health. We can’t suffer in silence anymore. The topic of men and depression is becoming more common, and shows like The Dr. Harry Fisch Show will help pave the way for other people to encourage men to talk about their mental health, and what’s bothering them. More platforms like these will break down the stereotypes and remove the stigmas about men and their feelings.
Consider talking with a therapist about how you feel. We’d like to help with that. Call or contact us today at 202-641-5335.
